life at the daily grind

 It's a Monday. I sit here trying to convince my 4 year old to trace upper and lowercase G's while he eats an oreo. It's 10:30 in the morning. "But mommy !" He pleads, "My head is just full of games, and Mario, and Paw Patrol! It's not full of workbooks." Another of his very creative ways of saying No mom, I really don't want to do school because I don't like it. I feel like we are in for another day of stubborn stand-offs.  Where every few minutes we repeat the same exchange.  "Please do your letters. There's not that many, it'll be quick."  "But I don't want to. I just want to play Mario Kart!" "You can, after   you finish your letters." "But that's just no fun for me!" And so it goes, on and on. Some days are full of laughter and cooperation, others we dance this dance for 9 hours. He's a head strong little guy, gets it from his mama. I start thinking about Kindergarten registrat...

 Life has changed since I started this blog. It has been nearly six years, I think. My husband and I have added 3 pets to the family, 2 sons, and have lived in 4 different homes in 3 different states. Over the past couple years, starting when we moved into our previous home, I started experiencing more anxiety over what is usually considered mundane. I started examining things that may have influenced things and triggered responses from life events and childhood. I've started examining the views I had been taught from an early age surrounding religion and politics and how you should raise a child. Are these really my views and values or have I just been regurgitating what I had been fed and told not to question because this was the "right" way?  As life has changed, as it is supposed to, I feel like it's time to shift this blog's perspective, too. It may be updated the same amount, which is laughable, but I have decided that it should be a reflection of the though...

My day started like most others. We all got up. My husband left for work, it was his duty day so it would be just me and the kids until the next morning.  By noon we had faced numerous meltdowns, and not just the children.  At least seven separate occasions arose throughout the morning. I asked for help with little things, like Please pick up your toys. Put your dishes in the sink. Don't jump when you're eating. Stop hitting your brother. Stop jumping off the couch. Along with the usual DON'T DO THAT! Each time I would ask kindly, gently, peacefully. Each time I was ignored as the children continued to run around screaming and giggling and ignoring. Until finally I would break. Yelling and growling in frustration, implementing time outs, and taking away toys. Each time I was met with wide eyes and arguments. Wondering why is she so mad? Why is she overreacting? Why is she being so unreasonable? And I sit there wishing I could somehow explain that maybe, if they had list...

Ok, so I know it's not Monday, but it's been a while since #mugmonday happened around here.  I can't remember if I've shared this mug already, but the weather is giving me wicked New England vibes, and this mug conjures up such visions as well. I can't use this mug without remembering walking down old, old streets of a fishing village on the Massachusetts coast. Like Rockport, but I'm not sure if that's where it was. Like today, fog hung thick in the air, casting a mysteriousness over everything.  My family had driven the couple of hours to visit my brother for the day. He went to college up in Wenham, MA and it was always a treat to see him.  I remember wandering into a little shop called the Wicked Peacock and purchasing a small piece of jewelry, though I can't for the life of me me remember what it might've been now. Down an alley there was a little art shop, and next to it was an open faced studio filled floor to ceiling w...

It's that time of year. The time when I open up this blog and realize that a whole year has passed without a single post!  So, if my toddler naps long enough, perhaps I can bang out a post about what my little family has been up to in the last 12 months. The start of 2019 was rough on the Logans of NJ. Our Oldest son, Theodore, carried a cold with him into the new year. One of those lovely childhood diseases that are all the rage, Rosalea. And when he's sick, he is S I C K.  Along with that there was the matter of the government shutdown which caused us to pinch pennies more than usual so we could afford to pay our bills and buy our groceries. We were not able to buy T any birthday presents because of it, but thankfully our own parents stepped in and threw him a wonderful little party to celebrate turning 2. We experienced what a supportive community we live in, and also got to reconnect with a coast guard friend who was passing through the area. This year Mr. T not only ce...

So real quick. Postpartum and healing. This is something that's been on my mind a lot lately since I just had a baby and quite a few of my friends have too or are about to. . Recently we were home for Thanksgiving. A friend of mine just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, her first. We had a wonderful visit with her sweet, new little family. When we got back to where we were staying that evening, someone asked me how she was doing and if she was all "healed".  I said she was doing really great, and really happy, but as to the second question I looked to the asker in confusion. What do you mean by "healed"? Physically. They wanted to know if physically she had made a complete recovery. I'm pretty sure my face hid none of my unamused glare. First of all, 5 days postpartum you're still walking like you just had a baby... because you did. Second of all, that's no one's business. I used this moment to educate the men in the room about wha...

It's always a great day when you start the morning off with vomiting up an empty stomach. Even better when it's out of the blue, into your kitchen sink full of last night's dishes, while your 15 month old looks on in confusion and concern. I thought I knew what tired was before I got pregnant. I thought I knew what exhaustion was while I was carrying my son. And after he was born I was sure I had become an expert on living a life with little to no sleep. As it turns out I was wrong on all accounts. Tired is a relative and ever changing term. Our lives are in another phase of change. After some ups and downs and long, long wait we finally got word that this coming transfer season will bring us a little closer to home. The good ol' USCG will be moving us to yet another vacation destination, Cape May, NJ, where we will only be about 5 hours from family instead of the 12+ that it takes us to get there now. This news comes with a side of relief, as my current definit...

Shouldn't have done it. I should not have done it. There I sat, rocking back and forth with a small child on my chest. He's asleep, limbs limp, drool flowing, little chest gently rising and falling. To my right sat my coffee cup only about 8 inches out of reach.  The sleep we had last night was mediocre at best, so why wouldn't he continue to nap now? I stand up, walking slowly to the pack n play, and carefully lay him down. As that little body touched down and my arms slowly released... Suddenly two large brown eyes stared widely accusing at me. And now we are here. The child has been wide awake since 6:30 am. Twice he has drifted off in my arms and twice I have been given glares of betrayal when I have tried to put him down. We are approaching 6 hours of crankiness. A parenting app on my phone informs me that at 10 months old my child could be sleeping "11-13 hours a night". A Facebook friend excitedly shares that her 8 week old slept 11 hours straight...

Today, I woke up, I made coffee, I started laundry, went to the post office, paid a bill. Man, adulating is exhausting, am I right? Like, I need a nap now! Just kidding. I don't have time for that, I've been keeping a 4 month old little boy alive and entertained, I don't have time to do all that other stuff, at least not uninterrupted time. The only thing that I hate more than being grouped into the insolent and immature group of "Millennials", is the phrase "adulting", ok maybe not the "only" thing. What started a couple years ago as a slightly funny way of complaining about day to day tasks has become such a common phrase that is being used with an underlying seriousness. I'm just curious, when did doing everyday things become so hard that we feel the need to be patted on the back and congratulated for doing it? When did responsibilities, that literally everyone has by the way, become things that need to be glorified, or on the ot...

It's 6pm.  The chicken is taking longer to cook than expected. The potatoes are almost overdone. My beer is sitting on the table getting warm in front of me, I think I opened it about two hours ago. My crying son only wants me. I am dicing tomatoes for my husband who is covering his bloody finger in bandages. From down the street a neighbor walks over for a haircut...but not from me. A lump appears in my throat as my chest gets heavy and eyes threaten to leak. I continue dicing tomatoes, fighting all these things, trying to hide any hint of being even just a little upset. I don't know why I bother, G can always tell, especially when my face looks bunched up as I'm sure it did. After about three denials that something was wrong, a tear finally burst free and I crumbled into a mess in my husbands arms. I was barely 19 when I graduated school and was officially set on my career path. Now I've been in my field for nearly 8yrs. For a typical woman my age, it is unusu...

The Daily Grind. My personal grind has changed significantly since two months ago. On the 18th of January I went to work. My last day was  supposed  to be the Saturday before that. I was supposed to have two weeks to myself to clean my house, get a massage, relax, stock my freezer with meals, and enjoy one last childless date with my husband, but instead I went in one last time for a good client of mine whose company I enjoy.  I didn't feel too great, I had cramps that kept coming and going the whole time I colored and cut this woman's hair. Dull, but they were there. I ignored them, I had a couple days already in the past week where I had thought something was starting but it never took off.  I finished up and rushed home, I had about an hour to eat and relax a little before heading up the beach to my 38wk prenatal appointment. G and I sat on the couch with bowls of stew from the night before and watched our favorite YouTubers do their daily show. I pick...

*Warning* rant of a hormonal and 9 month pregnant woman ahead. If easily offended by opinions that may not be your own, either turn back now or proceed with caution. I'm a bad mom, and my son hasn't even been born yet. Or maybe he won't be born, according to many people out there on the gracious and unjudgmental world wide web. We are officially in month 9 of pregnancy.  In T-29 days we will arrive at our long awaited Due Date, and hopefully our prize. Throughout this wonderful journey of carrying life inside me I have been keeping track of everything on an app that has a ton of great articles and tools as well as a community board meant for other moms-to-be to ask questions and share their experiences. And here is where I start to roll my eyes. It could be that at this point I'm just very pregnant and willing to fight anyone who acts like an asshole, but seriously, if you ever doubted that people could be so tactless to strangers, just go on one of these boar...

So we really are in the home stretch now. Tuesday will mark week 34 of 40 weeks of pregnancy. Last night I thought to myself that there are only 6 weeks left...unless this little boy decides to come early like I did, in which case that leaves our little family only 3-4 weeks before his arrival! The whole time it has seemed so very surreal. It seems like not that long ago that I was still taking pregnancy tests at week 5 just to see those + signs again. I remember feeling those first little kicks around week 17 and feeling blown away that there really is a little human moving around inside me. 20 weeks along and we had our anatomy scan and seeing him move and feeling it at the same time was almost overwhelming. And then they told us what we had been waiting for, we were having a boy. When we got in the car to go home that day I asked my hubby how he felt about the appointment. And for one of the first times I think it started to feel real for him. Upon hearing that he would be...

This past week I turned 25 years old, and little baby boy turned 25 weeks gestationally. For the most part I can no longer hide the little bump that's constantly growing, and I am growing to accept and to enjoy that fact. I spent my day off yesterday watching videos on YouTube about hypnobirthing, and a million TEDtalks on pregnancy, and childbirth, and everything relating. I finished my day by watching (and then re watching with my husband) The Business of Being Born which was absolutely fascinating. I seriously could not get enough. I was hungry for all the information that I could cram into my my brain. Hearing stories from mothers, midwives, husbands, and doctors, I felt like I gained insight into something that the media portrays as scary and super chaotic. I felt strengthened in the desires and excitement that I already felt about labor and delivery. We are 15 weeks out from our due date, every day inching closer. I start to think about all the things we need to do to...

Another month has passed and I don't know for the life of me where it went. But I am pleased to find that we have landed in October. October means fall, and fall is my favorite. The weather continues to be hot, humid, and beachy, so our trip to Connecticut was quite welcome.  The day before the long trip north started, we made little trip of our own up to the OB's office for my monthly check up. This was a long awaited appointment. I'd say probably the point in every pregnancy that all eager mamas and papas look forward to the most(apart from the actual birth, of course.) The infamous 20 week ultrasound.  We got to see our little one. My, oh my, how the little bean had grown from the first moments we saw him wiggling around at 8wks. Everything looked perfect. The heartbeat was strong, the measurements were adding up perfectly according to our due date, annnndddd we learned the best bit of information. We are having a son. Both of us teared up just a little as we p...

About 5 months ago I posted about wants Vs. needs, regarding having a job opportunity fall right into my lap and simply being scared to take it. Hard to believe how fast those months have gone by. Now I find myself 5 months into the job and loving it. Never have I worked for such genuine and caring individuals in my life. You know you enjoy your workplace and the people you are with when you are willing and happy to come in early or stay late or even take on an extra day or two that you usually have off. Likewise the weather is much different in affecting the salon down here than at home in New England. We have gone through our first burst of "Tropical Storms" (depression 9 that was named Hurricane Hermine) gave us a Saturday off, as well as a gloomy, almost-fall-like setting.  I close my eyes and listen to the screeches and twills of the gulls and pipers, cormorants and random pelicans, all patrolling the neighborhood after last nights rainfall. I feel the soft ...