The Daily Grind

The Daily Grind. My personal grind has changed significantly since two months ago.

On the 18th of January I went to work. My last day was supposed to be the Saturday before that. I was supposed to have two weeks to myself to clean my house, get a massage, relax, stock my freezer with meals, and enjoy one last childless date with my husband, but instead I went in one last time for a good client of mine whose company I enjoy. 

I didn't feel too great, I had cramps that kept coming and going the whole time I colored and cut this woman's hair. Dull, but they were there. I ignored them, I had a couple days already in the past week where I had thought something was starting but it never took off. 

I finished up and rushed home, I had about an hour to eat and relax a little before heading up the beach to my 38wk prenatal appointment. G and I sat on the couch with bowls of stew from the night before and watched our favorite YouTubers do their daily show. I picked at the meat in my stew, my appetite gone. As a joke I went upstairs and half hazzardly  packed a hospital bag to toss in the car, "just in case."  I left my bowl on the dresser and went downstairs. I'd take care of it when I got home.

I was tired. Not just tired because I hadn't had a good night's sleep in months, but emotionally and mentally tired. When was this going to be over?

Half way to my appointment I got super hungry, and G promised we would grab chicken nuggets on the way home. 

A short wait and we were ushered into the sonogram room to grab a quick peak at how big our little guy was getting, only the ultrasound tech couldn't get a read on him at all. He was sitting as low as he possibly could. 

20 minutes later G and I were talking with the OB. With my blood pressure being a little high coupled with some weird off days within the past week, he checked me and sent me upstairs to be monitored for about an hour. I was already 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced, and here I was thinking I was just having a crap day. 

During the hour in which they monitored baby's heartbeat and my blood pressure, my contractions started to become stronger and more consistent, I walked around for an hour after that just to make sure they stayed that way. They did

My OB came in and said "If it's alright with you, I'd like to break your water now rather than send you home just to see you back here later." Something I appreciate now thinking about how he saved me two hours in the car dealing with contractions. 

Within half an hour my water was broken and I immediately went into full on labor. That was about 6:00 PM. It was very fast, and wicked intense. I hit 6cm and asked for something other than an epidural. For the life of me I will never remember what they put in that IV but for those precious moments between contractions, there was a blissful peace to be found. It was just enough to let my restless body and exhausted muscles relax a little bit when they could. But the medication only lasted an hour.

At some point I moved onto a ball, to bounce, and rock, and curl, and grunt through it all. The nurse left the room and it was just G and I. Quiet surrounded us, except for the small sounding "Oh, no!" I would let out every time the pain in my back started up again. Then something changed. The contractions went from the absolute worst cramps in the world to my body forcefully trying to evacuate the tiny human inside me. I could feel the baby, he was coming out. I told gregory, between clenched teeth what was happening and he ran to get the nurse. 

Up onto the bed, and another check revealed I was at 8 cm. The nurse kept repeating over and over, "don't push, it's not time yet!" and I kept trying to explain that I wasn't pushing. With all that was in me I was holding myself back from actively pushing. Have you ever tried to stop your body doing something that is completely involuntary? It's near impossible. 

I finally spoke up and told the nurse that I literally couldn't stop it anymore. It had only been about 10 minutes, if that. During that time, they were trying to track down the OB who was also looking after another couple having a baby. I guess they wanted the ok for pushing? Regardless, I was checked, 10 CM, and moved into a more upright position, grasping my hands behind my knees and bringing them towards my chest. 

The sounds that left me were not sounds of pain, but of concentration, effort, and vigor. One way or another I was getting this kid OUT! It was time. 

The OB finally made an appearance. Little boy's head was crowning. I was told that if I tried staying quiet and putting that effort into pushing instead, the efficiency of pushing would most likely increase, so from then on it was quiet. 

All was well, and then it almost wasn't. Little boy had decided to wedge his hand upwards, placing it on his cheek, causing him to be in a less of a fluid shape than is ideal for a babe to be birthed. At that point if everything had been normal, little boy would've been out in 3-5 minutes, but...his heartbeat dropped pretty drastically. Enough so that the OB was not comfortable with waiting even 3 minutes. Before I could fully realize what was going on, I had been prepped and snipped. (Unfortunately the first pair of scissors were not as sharp as they should've been. Que. a nice loud "OUCH!") 

One second degree tear and an episiotomy later and there was a bright red baby curled up and crying on my belly. And just like that, it was over. After a fast 5 hours of very intense labor we were holding out sweet boy in our arms. 

 I went to work and then had a baby. Theodore was born at 11:01PM On January 18th, 2017 at 6lbs. 12.2 oz. (the same birth weight as his mama), and 19.5"long with a nice soft head of hair and eyes dark as night. He was precious. He was perfect.

Now this Little Boy is 3 months old. He has doubled in weight and is just about 2 feet long. He smiles! He shrieks! He farts like his dad. And maybe someday he will sleep longer than 2hrs at a time. But until then, we'll enjoy the snuggles that get him to sleep.