life at the daily grind

It's 6pm.  The chicken is taking longer to cook than expected. The potatoes are almost overdone. My beer is sitting on the table getting warm in front of me, I think I opened it about two hours ago. My crying son only wants me. I am dicing tomatoes for my husband who is covering his bloody finger in bandages. From down the street a neighbor walks over for a haircut...but not from me. A lump appears in my throat as my chest gets heavy and eyes threaten to leak. I continue dicing tomatoes, fighting all these things, trying to hide any hint of being even just a little upset. I don't know why I bother, G can always tell, especially when my face looks bunched up as I'm sure it did. After about three denials that something was wrong, a tear finally burst free and I crumbled into a mess in my husbands arms. I was barely 19 when I graduated school and was officially set on my career path. Now I've been in my field for nearly 8yrs. For a typical woman my age, it is unusu...

The Daily Grind. My personal grind has changed significantly since two months ago. On the 18th of January I went to work. My last day was  supposed  to be the Saturday before that. I was supposed to have two weeks to myself to clean my house, get a massage, relax, stock my freezer with meals, and enjoy one last childless date with my husband, but instead I went in one last time for a good client of mine whose company I enjoy.  I didn't feel too great, I had cramps that kept coming and going the whole time I colored and cut this woman's hair. Dull, but they were there. I ignored them, I had a couple days already in the past week where I had thought something was starting but it never took off.  I finished up and rushed home, I had about an hour to eat and relax a little before heading up the beach to my 38wk prenatal appointment. G and I sat on the couch with bowls of stew from the night before and watched our favorite YouTubers do their daily show. I pick...

*Warning* rant of a hormonal and 9 month pregnant woman ahead. If easily offended by opinions that may not be your own, either turn back now or proceed with caution. I'm a bad mom, and my son hasn't even been born yet. Or maybe he won't be born, according to many people out there on the gracious and unjudgmental world wide web. We are officially in month 9 of pregnancy.  In T-29 days we will arrive at our long awaited Due Date, and hopefully our prize. Throughout this wonderful journey of carrying life inside me I have been keeping track of everything on an app that has a ton of great articles and tools as well as a community board meant for other moms-to-be to ask questions and share their experiences. And here is where I start to roll my eyes. It could be that at this point I'm just very pregnant and willing to fight anyone who acts like an asshole, but seriously, if you ever doubted that people could be so tactless to strangers, just go on one of these boar...

So we really are in the home stretch now. Tuesday will mark week 34 of 40 weeks of pregnancy. Last night I thought to myself that there are only 6 weeks left...unless this little boy decides to come early like I did, in which case that leaves our little family only 3-4 weeks before his arrival! The whole time it has seemed so very surreal. It seems like not that long ago that I was still taking pregnancy tests at week 5 just to see those + signs again. I remember feeling those first little kicks around week 17 and feeling blown away that there really is a little human moving around inside me. 20 weeks along and we had our anatomy scan and seeing him move and feeling it at the same time was almost overwhelming. And then they told us what we had been waiting for, we were having a boy. When we got in the car to go home that day I asked my hubby how he felt about the appointment. And for one of the first times I think it started to feel real for him. Upon hearing that he would be...

This past week I turned 25 years old, and little baby boy turned 25 weeks gestationally. For the most part I can no longer hide the little bump that's constantly growing, and I am growing to accept and to enjoy that fact. I spent my day off yesterday watching videos on YouTube about hypnobirthing, and a million TEDtalks on pregnancy, and childbirth, and everything relating. I finished my day by watching (and then re watching with my husband) The Business of Being Born which was absolutely fascinating. I seriously could not get enough. I was hungry for all the information that I could cram into my my brain. Hearing stories from mothers, midwives, husbands, and doctors, I felt like I gained insight into something that the media portrays as scary and super chaotic. I felt strengthened in the desires and excitement that I already felt about labor and delivery. We are 15 weeks out from our due date, every day inching closer. I start to think about all the things we need to do to...

Another month has passed and I don't know for the life of me where it went. But I am pleased to find that we have landed in October. October means fall, and fall is my favorite. The weather continues to be hot, humid, and beachy, so our trip to Connecticut was quite welcome.  The day before the long trip north started, we made little trip of our own up to the OB's office for my monthly check up. This was a long awaited appointment. I'd say probably the point in every pregnancy that all eager mamas and papas look forward to the most(apart from the actual birth, of course.) The infamous 20 week ultrasound.  We got to see our little one. My, oh my, how the little bean had grown from the first moments we saw him wiggling around at 8wks. Everything looked perfect. The heartbeat was strong, the measurements were adding up perfectly according to our due date, annnndddd we learned the best bit of information. We are having a son. Both of us teared up just a little as we p...

About 5 months ago I posted about wants Vs. needs, regarding having a job opportunity fall right into my lap and simply being scared to take it. Hard to believe how fast those months have gone by. Now I find myself 5 months into the job and loving it. Never have I worked for such genuine and caring individuals in my life. You know you enjoy your workplace and the people you are with when you are willing and happy to come in early or stay late or even take on an extra day or two that you usually have off. Likewise the weather is much different in affecting the salon down here than at home in New England. We have gone through our first burst of "Tropical Storms" (depression 9 that was named Hurricane Hermine) gave us a Saturday off, as well as a gloomy, almost-fall-like setting.  I close my eyes and listen to the screeches and twills of the gulls and pipers, cormorants and random pelicans, all patrolling the neighborhood after last nights rainfall. I feel the soft ...